Unapologetically Joyful: How My Neurodivergent Exuberance Challenges Expectations

Unapologetically Joyful: How My Neurodivergent Exuberance Challenges Expectations

BY TAMARA MC

Joy radiates through my entire body like electricity. Sparks travel from my core to my fingertips in waves of pure, unfiltered delight. This isn't occasional happiness or momentary pleasure — it's a neurological symphony that plays in my brain, filling my world with color, light, and sensation that gleams and glitters in ways others might never experience. As a woman diagnosed with autism in my late 40s,

I've come to recognize that my naturally joyful disposition challenges society's expectations of how neurodivergence should present itself. Where many expect to see struggle, I embody sparkle; where they anticipate challenges, I experience celebration.

I am not alone in this joy. Many others on the spectrum experience the same highs, and together we create a constellation of brilliant light, illuminating the radiant spectrum of neurodivergent joy that glitters and gleams.

Research published by Dr. Claire Jack in Psychology Today confirms what I've known intuitively since childhood: "Autistic people often experience joy more often and more intensely than most." This single line validates decades of my lived experience. What others might view as excessive enthusiasm or childish excitement, I recognize as the natural expression of my neurodivergent perception. 

I've always woken up super early, excited to begin each day. I can't wait to experience the brightness of morning. The gentle cooing of doves outside my window brings an immediate flood of happiness. As I take my pup for our morning walk, the sparkly mica in the rocks catches the sunlight. In the distance, the jagged mountains stretch across the sunrise sky, painted in vibrant pinks and oranges, while sentinel saguaros stand tall across the desert landscape. These everyday sensory experiences create a shimmering welcome to the day.

Throughout my day, ordinary moments transform into extraordinary ones through my unique sensory processing. Each contains multitudes of pleasure that I experience with full intensity. I see beauty everywhere — in the play of light, in the harmony of spaces, in the vibrancy of colors surrounding me. Sunlight filtering through the spines of a cholla cactus creates a dazzling crown of golden light. Night brings the slow unfurling of cereus blooms, revealing intricate white petals. Ocotillo flowers burst forth in vibrant crimson. Morning dew clings to barrel cactus spines like tiny diamonds.

My heightened sensory perception means I experience colors with extraordinary intensity. One of my homes I painted in over 150 colors, most of them hand-mixed by me, as I am hard-wired for novelty seeking and originality. Each shade was carefully selected for how it made me feel. I now live in what I've affectionately named "Barbie Palace," a home awash in pink hues that predates the movie's popularization of this aesthetic. 

My commitment to color extends to my appearance. I'll always wear at least one pink item. I have mermaid hair with glittery tinsel woven through, catching light with every movement like a personal constellation of stars.

Sparkles incorporate themselves into my daily life — in my clothing, my accessories, my home décor — creating points of brilliance that catch my eye and visual stimming that brings moments of joy throughout the day.

These aren't superficial preferences but expressions of how my brain processes sensory information. Sunday Times bestselling author and mental health nurse Authentically Emily describes, "Autistic joy can feel like being flooded with warmth, like sparks travelling through your body... being completely consumed by the feeling of joy." Joy consumes. Tingles. Transforms my entire being. Literally sparkles around me. Like the shimmering tinsel woven through my hair, these moments of joy catch the light and reflect it back, following me through each day.

This capacity for finding beauty extends to sensory experiences with food and drink. My perfect morning Nespresso with its natural crema provides a complete sensory sonata. Initial aroma fills the room. Visual pleasure comes from watching that perfect hazelnut-colored foam form on top. Warmth from the cup spreads through my palms. As a vegetarian, fresh vegetable salad becomes an artistic celebration— satisfying crunch of crisp vegetables, vibrant red peppers pleasing both eye and palate. 

Emma, director of Autism Wellbeing CIC and creator of the Undercover Autism blog, expresses how these sensory experiences create "a whole world open to me that others miss – it is like a great, exciting secret between me and the Universe." When fully immersed in sensory joy, I feel privy to dimensions of experience that remain hidden to others, a secret language of sensation that makes my world infinitely rich.

This secret dialogue extends into patterns and meanings as well. Throughout my life, I've been drawn to finding connections and possibilities that might go unnoticed. Angel numbers appear everywhere — especially 11:11, my favorite. I also love all repeating numbers – 22, 333, and 4444. I spot them on license plates, addresses, digital clocks, and receipts. My mind automatically calculates and creates number patterns, even from seemingly random digits. Each sighting brings a surge of delight and confirmation. I notice what others overlook. These moments bring me profound joy and a sense of being connected to something larger than myself.

By living authentically, I naturally challenge misconceptions. According to the Autistic Parents UK Blog, "Celebrating Autistic Joy is not intended to dismiss or ignore the challenges that come with being Autistic. Instead, it is an act of embracing the idea that autism isn't a 'tragedy'... By embracing joy, we affirm our full humanity." Joy simply is. It's a constant, reliable presence — just as natural to me as breathing. 

My persistent optimism isn't naivety. It emerges from how I naturally perceive the world. "Pollyanna," they've called me, as if it were an accusation. But this perspective isn't something I cultivate or perform — it's simply how my mind experiences the world. I love big. I care big. I give of myself big. Everything is bigger, grander, more joyful.

My capacity for intense joy represents not a symptom to be managed but a natural expression of a mind wired differently. 

While society often expects neurodivergence to present as struggle, I know the truth — that my life shimmers with an intensity as vivid as my pink walls, sparkles with the same brilliant tinsel that adorns my hair, and radiates a joy that catches the light like sequins scattered across every moment of my dazzling, shimmeristic existence.

Bio:  Tamara MC, Ph.D., is a unicornrific writer whose work has appeared in over 80 outlets, including The New York Times, Huffington Post, and Newsweek. In her glittering universe, princesses, sparkles, and all things pink hold magical power. Sign up for her mermazing mailing list: www.tamaramc.com or find her on socials @tamaramcphd

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